That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
