You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
