Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
