ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
