Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
