u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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