Well douche your snatch and let's go!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
