my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
