New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
