...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
