Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
