Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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