3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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