I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
