i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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