im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i think im in europe. pls send help
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