tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
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Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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