I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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