Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
