just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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