next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
