i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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