Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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