So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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