Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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