It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
