remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
