I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize