pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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