Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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