We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
