absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i was born a porn star she said
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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