You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
