that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
