he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
