I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
be right there i have to get my cape
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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