Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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