i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
its liver damage thursday
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
