I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
