her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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