ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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