We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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