i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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