The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
