id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
