Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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