I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
