Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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