walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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