I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
