well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
