Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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