Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
