dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
