he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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