Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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